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Monday, September 22, 2008

Why Celebrities are Adorable

I work in a facility that shall remain unnamed in a city that shall remained unnamed in a state that shall remain unnamed. All of these must remain unnamed to comply with HIPPA, the policy that maintains the privacy of patients. I am compliant. But I must say, that in my experiences working in these unnamed places, I have heard tell of many stories of celebrities who may or may not have passed through. These stories are highly entertaining and usually entail some amount of ludicrous demands or unbecoming behavior from adults who feel that they are above certain social codes. Last week I had the pleasure of witnessing one of these celebrity encounters first hand. Let me tell you, this person was just adorable! And here is why:

First off, babies are adorable. I don't think anybody would disagree with me. Even if the baby is not aesthetically pleasing or turns out to be rather colicky and disagreeable, we still find the little chubs adorable and endearing and all things sugary and sweet. Some babies have their moments, but we love them anyway. When they are hungry they tend to scream, but this is understandable. They don't really have a better way of communicating. They can be a little demanding to their caregiver, but after all, babies require lots of TLC. When they behave well, babies get rewarded. Especially when they enter toddlerdom, we bribe them to sit still and mind their manners, and then we give them chocolate and candy. And even when babies make no sense, we still admire them and project that they will be very intellegent and adroit at many things when they come of age.

Turns out, celebrities are just like babies!

Even when they turn out to be rather colicky and disagreeable, we still find them laudable. Sometimes they have their "moments" but we love them anyway. This celebrity I met did in fact scream out and scare nearby patients with her/his demands, but maybe (s)he didn't have a better way of communicating the fact that (s)he felt cold. (S)he was very demanding to the nurse, but after all, celebrities require lots of TLC. They would feel lost and alone with out extra bouts of TLC. When this patient did what every other patient did, and woke up from anesthesia, (s)he got chocolate cake instead of the usual sip of water or apple juice. Bribery works at all ages. And even when this celebrity left us with ludicrous political advice and prophesies, we still nodded admiringly and projected that if it appears in People, it must be true.


Celebrities. How adorable.

6 comments:

mastermind said...

Chocolate cake reminds me of Bruce Bogtrotter.

Also it seems you've found the profession that Peter Pan has been searching for his whole life: celebrity! With all the perks of being a being a baby at your adult fingertips (demands instantly met, smiling faces and plenty of pictures to document your life) you don't ever really have to grow up. People will LIKE taking care of you and will smile adoringly and tell you you're cute when you act like the world revolves around you. And they will give you chocolate cake when you wake up. Amazing. I feel a career change coming on....

Dawney said...

Who wouldn't behave for chocolate cake? Bring on the rewards I say!

Chris said...

You crack me up! It is so true. Traci 4th floor

The Wimmer 5 said...

I love that. But can I just say I hate HIPPA? I so want to know who all these stories are about. So funny. I would love to see you soon...

Emily Janice Card said...

So very apt. I wonder if there's a market for baby books one can customize to look like issues of US Weekly ...

Rob and Mare said...

Kelly WE MISS YOU!!!!
Come home!:( Rob and I were talking about you today and how great of a sister you are to both of us. I wanted to call you, but we're at Uncle Jims with no phone reception, so I guess this will have to do for now. I just wanted to let you know I think you're great and we both miss you tons. So come see us soon!
Take care!