Why Celebrities are Adorable

I work in a facility that shall remain unnamed in a city that shall remained unnamed in a state that shall remain unnamed. All of these must remain unnamed to comply with HIPPA, the policy that maintains the privacy of patients. I am compliant. But I must say, that in my experiences working in these unnamed places, I have heard tell of many stories of celebrities who may or may not have passed through. These stories are highly entertaining and usually entail some amount of ludicrous demands or unbecoming behavior from adults who feel that they are above certain social codes. Last week I had the pleasure of witnessing one of these celebrity encounters first hand. Let me tell you, this person was just adorable! And here is why:

First off, babies are adorable. I don't think anybody would disagree with me. Even if the baby is not aesthetically pleasing or turns out to be rather colicky and disagreeable, we still find the little chubs adorable and endearing and all things sugary and sweet. Some babies have their moments, but we love them anyway. When they are hungry they tend to scream, but this is understandable. They don't really have a better way of communicating. They can be a little demanding to their caregiver, but after all, babies require lots of TLC. When they behave well, babies get rewarded. Especially when they enter toddlerdom, we bribe them to sit still and mind their manners, and then we give them chocolate and candy. And even when babies make no sense, we still admire them and project that they will be very intellegent and adroit at many things when they come of age.

Turns out, celebrities are just like babies!

Even when they turn out to be rather colicky and disagreeable, we still find them laudable. Sometimes they have their "moments" but we love them anyway. This celebrity I met did in fact scream out and scare nearby patients with her/his demands, but maybe (s)he didn't have a better way of communicating the fact that (s)he felt cold. (S)he was very demanding to the nurse, but after all, celebrities require lots of TLC. They would feel lost and alone with out extra bouts of TLC. When this patient did what every other patient did, and woke up from anesthesia, (s)he got chocolate cake instead of the usual sip of water or apple juice. Bribery works at all ages. And even when this celebrity left us with ludicrous political advice and prophesies, we still nodded admiringly and projected that if it appears in People, it must be true.


Celebrities. How adorable.

25 and Underage.

Yesterday a 48 year old man asked me out. 48. He is precisely 2 years and 1 month younger than my father (yes, I know his date of birth). Maybe this happens to innocent unsuspecting girls all the time, but whhhhaaaat the...severely unacceptable. A couple of weeks ago an approximately 38 year old man asked me out. Just when I thought it couldn't get more inappropriate. Anyway, that's all. I just thought those of you in Utah should understand the travails of living in California. And don't worry. I stayed safely home in my apartment playing Ticket to Ride instead of accepting said offers.

On a lighter note I had the best 25th birthday party ever! In no particular order it involved a purple elephant gift exchange, night games, a pinata, and cake. Pretty much all anybody could ever require for a major life event. So thank you to everybody who took part!

Welcome to the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave

Lake Powell is the greatest place on earth. You may not believe me, but also, you may not have been there. Miles of perfection stretched out under the hot sun, surrounded by magestic red rocks and steeped in family tradition. Why do I love Lake Powell so much? Oh, I don't know...

One of the top draws is Ultimate tubing. I believe what you're about to witness is Team Beta. It's hard to tell how fast we actually are moving. At least, we like to think that we're moving really fast and performing unthinkable feats. Basically it's 5 tubes, around 7 players at a time, endless jumping, leaping, switching tubes, hanging on for dear life, and trying to prevent good 'ole dad from knocking us all off. If you challenge him you'll probably hurt worse the next day. When you fall off (because you WILL fall off) the boat doesn't stop. We just leave your little head bobbing in the vast lake until a sea-doo comes to fetch you. Ultimate is the only word that describes it. I highly recommend such an activity.

Another draw is the family. They are a dedicated bunch. Here's Kristen, dad and I posing after the Homemade Houseboat Olympics Awards Ceremony, brought to you by the moms of the Houseboat. Well done moms.

We are blessed to have good friends join us every year. Good friends make the world go round. I wish I could get the whole bunch in one shot. But we were never that organized. Here are 4/5th's of the 2008 crew.

I have decided that this should be a 2 part post. It might get too long and my gushing might get annoying, so I'll write more later. Probably tomorrow. If your appetite for Lake Powell charms is not yet satiated, Marilyn has a great album on her blog at http://robandmare.blogspot.com/2008/08/lake-powell-2008.html. Marilyn's the best.

Summer Vacation

I went on a great little trip last week to Big Bear with some friends from the Provo days. I would blog all about, but luckily Mehgan, who was also a participant, already blogged all about it! Now I don't have to! Perfect. Here's the site.

And here's a little teaser...

A Restraining Order

So I went to give blood the other day. I'm sure everyone's familiar with the process: you read a pamphlet and then get taken behind this tiny screen for interrogation. It's top secret and very invasive. And then you walk out and sit in the next line to actually donate your blood. Then you get treats. Voila. You've given life and you've received Oreos. I can't think of a better way to spend an hour. Once or twice, however, I've gone behind the tiny screen and walked out in shame because they didn't want my blood. I didn't get to go to the next line and I certainly didn't get a complimentary juice box (except once they took pity on me.) It's a very awkward feeling. Everybody sees you come out from behind the screen and they know what questions you have been asked. And they are left to wonder either what act of promiscuity you have committed or when you traveled covertly out of the country and lived in Africa for three years, because nobody remembers you doing that. Meanwhile, you are walking the long walk of shame back to your car, publicly circumventing all other stations.
Well, once I was denied because I had had some flu symptoms a couple days previously. Oops. And once I was denied because my iron count was too low. But last week I was denied for a whole new reason that must have been proportionately worse because this time, they made me sign a contract, promising that I wouldn't come back for a year. Really?! A contract? Do you really think I'm going to FORCE my blood upon someone when you feel it is TAINTED?! Yes, I have been restrained from the Red Cross. If I try to give blood again, who knows what will happen? Maybe they'll draw a red A on me like Hester. Or maybe, it will be even worse. Maybe they'll make me sign a contract that says I'll never have a fig newton again! Or juice and oreos! That would be devastating. In the meantime I guess I'll keep my blood to myself.

A Friendly Game of Tag

A--Attached or Single? Single
B--Best Friend? Whoever will pay me for being unemployed. I accept cupcakes as monetary substitution.
C-- Cake or Pie? I am a very non-discriminatory treat eater.
D-- Day of Choice? I'm actually quite partial to Mondays. I like starting a new week.
E-- Essential Item? My GPS System. Irreplaceable.
F--Favorite Color? Purple
G-- Gummy Bears or Worms? um....worms
H-- Hometown? Pleasant View
I-- Indulgence(s)? Songs by Rihanna. I wish I didn't love them so.
J-- January or July? July!
K-- Kids? TBA
L-- Life is Incomplete Without? Lake Powell and cookies
M-- Marriage Date? October 15, 2009. (My mom says that if I think positive thoughts it will come true. Verdict's still out.)
N-- Number of siblings? 3 charming brothers, 1 delightful sister
O-- Oranges or Apples? Apples. Oranges are too high maintenance
P-- Phobias or fears? Walking along minding by business and being unexpectedly hit by a bicylclist
Q-- Quotes? Joy is the serious business of Heaven. -C.S. Lewis
R-- Reason to Smile? I just had delicious curry for dinner.
S-- Season? Fall = football season, changing leaves, back to school, jacket weather.
T-- Tag 5 People? Emily, Sara, Tiffany, Marilyn, Hannah
U-- Unknown Fact? Unfortunately my life is an open book. I've worked to gain some mystery for some years now, but it proves to be useless.
V-- Very Favorite Store? Any grocery store. And probably Target.
W-- Worst Habit? Procrastinating
X-- Xray or Ultrasound? Is this a trick question?
Y-- Your Favorite Food? Fine food.
Z-- Zodiac? Leo

What's a girl gotta do?

Dating in LA can be tough sometimes. "Being available" at the punch bowl hasn't really availed to much. So what next? Hard to say. But here are some ideas: